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Have you noticed that some people always seem to have tons of self-confidence, while others just fade into the background? And have you noticed it isn't always to do with education or background.Were you encouraged to be self-confident or were you told it wasn't a good idea to set your sights too high?
Yet self-confidence – the kind that is based on appreciation and not arrogance – is a natural state and one way or another, underpins our entire life experience. If we have low self-confidence, then our ability to make good or great choices for ourselves is severely restricted.
So here are 5 no-cost ways to begin to improve your self-confidence. Let’s face it – you really are the only one who can change what you feel and do – so choose one idea and work with it for a month or so. Then experiment with the rest.
CHOOSE three incidents that you have been involved in, over the last couple of years, where you felt your self-confidence could have been ‘higher”. Write down, or just say to yourself, “ what would I like to have done differently?” (For example, you might wish that you had spoken out: or perhaps kept quiet. You might wish you had said “no” instead of “yes” or vice-versa. Once you have pinpointed a few key words, write them down and simply notice what you have written.
ASK your family and friends to tell you at least one thing about you that they like, or that they think you are good at. Make a point of saying “thank you” to each person without pushing the compliment away. Make a note of each comment, and in front of each word or phrase, write the words “I AM . . ..” (a good friend: funny: a good cook: a good listener etc). Put the list somewhere where you can see it on a daily basis and read it at least twice a day.
START a regular practice of "Appreciation". Whatever is happening to you, or whenever you feel doubt, find something to quietly appreciate and focus on that. It might be the warmth and taste of your tea: it might be that you can walk: maybe the sun is shining or it could be that you're glad to have a job. Just pause for a moment and find one small thing to appreciate.. Self-confidence is supported by an attitude that sees the best and this practice will help you to find ways to do this.
CHOOSE something you would love to do for yourself and that you have previously considered beyond your reach. Imagine that you will be doing this in say, a year from now and then write down all the little steps you will take to get there. Next to each step, write down the resources you will need – time, help, training, money and so on – and then next to that, how you will get those resources.
When you have completed your goal, celebrate! And if you have to celebrate alone, then do so! Write yourself a note, now, telling yourself how proud you are that you did it – leave it to be opened when you reach 'the day'. It's worth remembering that you can change your mind about your goals: if you change your mind, do give yourself credit for making a movement in the direction of your self-confidence.
CONSIDER the next major purchase you wish to make for yourself. It may be a car, or clothes or a holiday. Make a decision about your budget and once you have done so, consider how big a step it would be to make an upgrade to your purchase? Perhaps you might have to wait a little longer and save a bit more money? Perhaps making another choice might make incur someone else’s disapproval? Think about what you truly want and not what you think you are allowed to have and then see if you can adjust your first idea to get closer to what you really want.
IT TAKES SELF-CONFIDENCE, COURAGE and PATIENCE to make good choices for yourself. Think about how much a little more self-confidence would benefit you, then be gentle with yourself as you begin to make small changes. Persistence is the key - once you allow yourself to even think of being a more self-confident person, you're already on your way.
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Deborah de Vries helps people to enjoy their lives and get more out of them by providing audio and coaching work that is based on a meditation/relaxation approach. She is also the UKs Number One provider of guided relaxations and over 300,000 of her podcasts have been downloaded worldwide. To hear a free sample go to: =>http://thewellnessaudioshop.co.uk
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