Self-Help
Loving Yourself: Be Your Own No. 1 Fan!

Jan 30, 2010 - 9:38:32 PM

It may be a cliché but it’s true that people will only believe in you if you believe in yourself first. If you want to be happy, it starts with loving yourself. We’ve all had our rough patches and while some fully recover from it and become stronger people, many are unable to let go of their insecurities and hang-ups. Let me tell you that whatever you’ve had to go through, the decision is yours for you to move forward and improve your life.

If you have a tendency to be self-depreciating, being your no. 1 doesn’t happen overnight. There are several steps to it:

1. Confront your biggest fears.

• Fear of failing may make you want to forget about your dreams and goals. Don’t allow fear to prevent you from reaching for your goals. Think about what Thomas Edison went through to invent the light bulb. He made 10,000 attempts to get it right. Continue giving it a try and learn from each mistake.
• Fear of loneliness may prevent you from moving away for college or transferring to a city for a dream job. You will get accustomed to the changes in your life. You are certain to meet new friends and with internet access, you can keep in touch with your family and friends.

• As soon as you start confronting your fears, you will find out that it wasn’t such a big hurdle to overcome after all.

2. Talk to yourself.

• What you mumble to yourself matters much in how you view yourself. Don’t call yourself an idiot, dumb or ugly. You certainly are not. Remember that what it is that you say to yourself can make a change in how you see yourself.
• Positive phrases do work. While you’re preparing for your day, call out your good traits or characteristics, and say it out loud. You don’t have to believe it at first. Keep saying it and they will be true.
• Examples of these phrases are:
- “I am beautiful.”
- “I’m a wonderful parent.”
- “I look gorgeous.”
- “I’m smart.”
- “I like myself.”

3. Refuse to be insecure. When you’re more secure about specific aspects in your life, it will make you believe more in yourself.

4. Be aware of aspects in your life that need to be worked on.
• Manage your finances well. Be a whiz at making the budget. If necessary, enroll in some classes. Strive to be in control.
• Do more reading. If you’ve been slow in reading, you might want to take a brief class or hire a tutor to increase your speed.
• Does public speaking frighten you? If it’s been a problem for you, why not take hold of this weakness and turn it into a skill? Take a course on public speaking or volunteer for a task that requires you to talk to a group of people.
• Have you been bothered about your weight? Don’t look at magazines and movie stars as your basis for how you view beauty. On the other hand, if you’re concerned about your health, study how to prepare a healthful meal and engage in regular exercise.

Whatever it is that’s preventing you from believing firmly in yourself, don’t fret as there are ways to overcome this issue. First, find the cause of the self-doubting behavior. Whether it’s fear, attitude, or insecurity, face it and seek to overcome it.

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Linda Hampton RN, MSN a Midlife Stress Coach is the publisher of Transition Your Life, a free 5-part ecourse full of revealing information to help you deal with the stressful changes in your life.  For your ecourse and complimentary newsletter, drop by http://www.keytostressfreeliving.com